Me vs. Margaret Atwood

Before we found out we were pregnant, I used to read books of all kinds. The classics. Books about sports. Books about music. Trashy Books. Autobiographies. Biographies. Books that were funny. Books that were sad.

Then when we found out we were pregnant I began reading books on what to expect from parenthood. A lot of good that did me. The only thing I remember was this helpful piece of advice: whatever you do, don’t anger your wife. When Jonas was born, I went mostly on instinct and remembered the important credo "no uterus, no opinion."

Recently I have had a hankering to start reading non-parenting books again. I don’t have nearly as much "me" time anymore, and therefore my reading time is devoted exclusively to The Hockey News. Hey, I need to know who’s playing left wing on Phoenix’s first line. That kind of stuff is important to me. But there has to be more to literary life than the magnificent THN. Like Margaret Atwood for example. I have been meaning to read her novel "The Handmaid’s Tale" for quite some time. I should have read it two years ago when my friend Kim recommended it to me. It is one of her favourite books. I think she used the words disturbing and mysogynistic to describe it. I was sold. Then a funny thing happened. I somehow got it in my head that she wanted me to read "The Stone Angel" by fellow Canuck Margaret Laurence. Easy mistake right? Well, I went ahead and read the novel and loved every page of it. I then went on a Margaret Laurence reading spree. I read just about everything she ever put out in the summer of 2004. My favourite Laurence novel is "The Fire-Dwellers." What an awesome piece of literature. And I don’t care that I’m the only Canadian male to ever utter those words about that book.

Only after I read the complete works of ML did I realize Kim liked "The Handmaid’s Tale." So here I am, staring at the THT. I managed to read about three pages at midnight last Friday, sitting in the rocking chair next to Jonas’ crib, listening to him coo-ing. I managed to deduce that a woman, possibly the handmaid in question, was in a gymnasium with other handmaids. Help me out here, do I have the gist of it?

I am determined to finish the book. As motivation, I will keep everyone updated on my progress. Probably won’t read it tonight, though. Just realized the E.R. episode where Abby’s preemie baby’s is born is on, and they play that awesome David Gray song "Slow Motion" during the c-section birth scene. Oh, and there’s the World Series game. I’ll watch that if there’s nothing good on "The Hour." That’s a good show too. Exactly how Am I supposed to find time to read? Answer me that.