Potluck Night in Fort Albany

Christina with Jonas


Denis and Jonas


Jack and Jonas

Last night we hosted what is the most popular social event among white people in Fort Albany: the potluck. Here were the attendees: Christine, Jeff, Jonas, Jocelyn, Jeremie, Jen, Jennifer, Jack, Denis, Ladyne, Christina and Todd. Jesus, that’s a lot of people whose first name starts with J. Little Jonas fits in perfectly up here. And to think, we just lost Jolene, Joe, and his daughter Jolia.

As usual, the food was first rate. There were lots of laughs, although Jocelyn and Jeremie were subdued by their standards. I had the perfect plan for the television. I had the volume on mute with the Detroit-Oakland ALCS game on. When that game ended, I had planned to turn it to the Leafs-Calgary game. But Ladyne had other ideas. I left the room briefly, returning to what looked like NASCAR on my TV. NASCAR Night in Canada? I’ve never heard of such a thing. Then I put 2 and 2 together and realized that the resident NASCAR freak had changed the channel on MY television. Actually, I didn’t mind too much. I think it’s cool that quiet, polite Ladyne watches NASCAR every Saturday night. Besides, there was too much socializing to do. I would, however, have liked to have seen Magglio Ordonez’s walk-off homer to put Detroit in the World Series for the first time since I was in Grade 4. But alas, NASCAR ruled the night. I must say I agreed with Jocelyn when she said: "Do they just keep driving around in a circle? That’s soooo boring."

After the gang had left, I switched the channel and watched the third period and OT of the hockey game. It was really exciting. Mats Sundin scored the winning goal - his third of the game and 500th of his great career. In addition to the action, I was amused by the commentators - the elderly and frumpy Bob Cole and the young and very beautiful Cassie Campbell. It was Cassie’s first broadcast and I thought she was OK. She was by no means brilliant, but she was no more insightful than Harry Neale.

So, here’s a quick Bob Cole story - one of many I have of the man. A friend who works at CBC told me once that Bob calls a game with one hand down his pants. I didn’t put much stock in the story because I’ve learned that rumours blow through the CBC like a Fort Albany wind. I wouldn’t have believed such a tale had I not seen it with my own green eyes. A couple of years ago I was covering a game when I walked past the CBC booth seconds after the period had ended. I glanced inside only to see Bob sitting there with his belt undone, AND his zipper down. For God’s sake, the man’s pants were wide open - in public. It was quite the Kodak moment. I can’t imagine him doing this with Ms. Campbell next to him, but Bob marches to the beat of his own drum. This was evidenced after the game when he said something along the lines of "It’s been great having you here, girl." Geezes, what year is it and what rock did Bob Cole crawl out from under? Well, at least he didn’t call her a dame.