Dawn of a new day
Surprise!!
For those of you expecting to see Jeffs posting, I have taken over, at least for now. Between Jeffs column and his job, he is running out things to write about, so I have decided to take over. Enjoy!!
I have been a mom now for almost 11 months. I wont say that the transition has been easy--I know, it never is. The last 11 months have been filled with ups and downs and I have struggled with some major feelings of sadness and incompetence. I have decided like so many first time moms out there to start writing to deal with some of the feelings that go along with first time motherhood.
For my first posting, I would like to share with you the top 10 things I wish someone had told me about having a baby (in no particular order):
1. Your hips stay that size--yep, your hip hugger jeans will be a long time fitting again
2. Having a baby makes you hate your husband--I dont know if its hormones, but one day you look at him and think--Wow! how could I marry someone like him (Don't worry though, it passes--eventually. Right, Jeff honey :) )
3. Your stomach will look like a 3D road map-complete with canyons and rivers
4. Your normally wonderful parents turn into grandparents!!--Ok I knew that one, but still I was not prepared for such wisdom as "Your baby cant tell you when hes cold" and "I used to worry about you and the baby but then I realized your are not a complete idiot and probably wont screw up too much"--Love you too, mom
5. Fundal Massage is not nearly as fun as it sounds
6. Your biggest joy will be when your baby stops pooing green
7. You will proudly wear baby vomit/urine/feeces as though they were the latest acessory--Lets see Paris Hilton top that!
8. You will never have sex again--see points 2 and 3
9. Sleep is for idiots
10. When the sun finally shines agian, you will shut the blinds and go to sleep.
My love and praise to all the Mommies out there!! As a wise friend once said, Mommies are the best!!
For those of you expecting to see Jeffs posting, I have taken over, at least for now. Between Jeffs column and his job, he is running out things to write about, so I have decided to take over. Enjoy!!
I have been a mom now for almost 11 months. I wont say that the transition has been easy--I know, it never is. The last 11 months have been filled with ups and downs and I have struggled with some major feelings of sadness and incompetence. I have decided like so many first time moms out there to start writing to deal with some of the feelings that go along with first time motherhood.
For my first posting, I would like to share with you the top 10 things I wish someone had told me about having a baby (in no particular order):
1. Your hips stay that size--yep, your hip hugger jeans will be a long time fitting again
2. Having a baby makes you hate your husband--I dont know if its hormones, but one day you look at him and think--Wow! how could I marry someone like him (Don't worry though, it passes--eventually. Right, Jeff honey :) )
3. Your stomach will look like a 3D road map-complete with canyons and rivers
4. Your normally wonderful parents turn into grandparents!!--Ok I knew that one, but still I was not prepared for such wisdom as "Your baby cant tell you when hes cold" and "I used to worry about you and the baby but then I realized your are not a complete idiot and probably wont screw up too much"--Love you too, mom
5. Fundal Massage is not nearly as fun as it sounds
6. Your biggest joy will be when your baby stops pooing green
7. You will proudly wear baby vomit/urine/feeces as though they were the latest acessory--Lets see Paris Hilton top that!
8. You will never have sex again--see points 2 and 3
9. Sleep is for idiots
10. When the sun finally shines agian, you will shut the blinds and go to sleep.
My love and praise to all the Mommies out there!! As a wise friend once said, Mommies are the best!!
posted by Northern Voices at
10:30 PM
2 Comments:
Thanks for posting, Christine!! And thanks for sharing. I wish my friends had warned me before I had Charlotte. Sadly, most of them hadn't had kids yet and those that did were happy to perpetuate the myth that motherhood is pure joy. There's joy but also a hell of a lot of overwhelming and not-at-all joyful emotions.
I have to say that two years on, I am feeling slightly less incompetent, yet I remain more than a touch disturbed by my belly.
That was great Christine. All 10 things duly noted.
MW
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